Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'cobra'.
-
This week, the G.I. Joe team from Hasbro held a livestream, and the music industry is in shock as Cobra’s heavy metal band, Cold Slither, once again became an overnight sensation. G.I. Joe demands an investigation! The world of music has been turned upside down as Cold Slither, Cobra’s infamous heavy metal band, has skyrocketed to the top of the charts with their latest single, "Cold Slither". Fans are calling it "the most addictive song ever" while G.I. Joe intelligence reports suggest something more sinister: subliminal messaging! Cold Slither, originally a Cobra propaganda tool disguised as a glam metal band, was largely forgotten until this week, when their surprise new track started dominating radio waves, music streaming services, and suspiciously, military recruitment ads: "We were monitoring their resurgence when we noticed something weird" said General Hawk of G.I. Joe. "People weren't just listening, they became obsessed. Civilians, soldiers, even some of our own team members started showing up to work in snake-themed leather jackets and calling each other 'Brother Viper'!" To make matters worse, Hasbro has announced new Cold Slither action figures, complete with instruments, stage accessories, and, according to the fine prints, a warning label about excessive headbanging side effects! "If you feel an uncontrollable urge to headbang and/or pledge loyalty to Cobra after purchasing these figures, please seek immediate help from your local anti-brainwashing specialist. The power of rock should be enjoyed responsibly!" With Cold Slither dominating the airwaves and their action figures following soon, will G.I. Joe be able to counteract their influence? Or will we all soon be chanting "We’re Coooold Slither, you’ll be joining us soon!"? More news at 11:00... Too late to resist... 'cause Cobra is strong!
-
- 1 reply
-
- 2
-
-
- gi joe classified
- cobra
- (and 1 more)
-
With just a bit over 15 hours left before the G.I. Joe Classified Series HasLab Cobra Rattler Ground Attack Jet campaign concludes, G.I. Joe collectors everywhere are suddenly struck with a far greater challenge than deciding where to display it: How to hide the $350 charge on the credit card! ToyFarce investigated... ToyFarce interviewed several brave souls who have become seasoned experts at concealing the true extent of their toy spending. Here are their top tricks for dodging that post-campaign invoice conversation with their partner: 1. "Honey, It's an Investment!" A classic - claim that buying the HasLab Cobra Rattler Ground Attack Jet is like buying stocks, only cooler and with missiles! One collector explained, "I told my wife it’s an investment for the future! I can sell it for more than double the value!" When asked if he ever actually intends to sell any of his collection, he quickly changed the subject. 2. "It Was On Sale!" Several collectors are preparing to drop the all-time favorite excuse: "But it was on sale!" even though HasLab crowdfunding isn't exactly known for offering discounts. "My partner doesn’t know that," one smirking G.I. Joe fan added. "They think everything has a sale at some point. I’m just hoping they don’t Google it…" 3. "It's for my son!" One collector had a stroke of genius: "I told my spouse that it was a present for the kids, but they’re too young to open it so they'll have to wait until they’re 18!" That way, the Rattler becomes a 'future gift', which also conveniently remains sealed for the next two decades. Also, remember, it was for his birthday! 4. "I must have butt-dialed or something..." An bold move, but still effective. "It looks like I accidentally logged in, added it to my card, entered all my info and confirmed the order while my phone was in my pocket. Ooopsie!" How does this keep happening, right? As the campaign clock winds down and G.I. Joe fans prepare for their next great battle, one thing is clear: the war isn’t over until that $350+ is hidden, and collectors are always thinking several steps ahead! Good luck, fellow collectors! Yo Joe! More news at 11:00... and remember, it's better if they don't know how much you spent... *even* if knowing is half the battle. *ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 4 replies
-
- 1
-
-
- gi joe classified
- cobra eel
- (and 5 more)
-
-
- 3 replies
-
- 1
-
-
- g.i.joe
- g.i. joe classifed
- (and 1 more)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
.thumb.jpeg.40ccae7871086dfa78988b3ac93d83f6.jpeg)
