Vending Machine

Careful where you step, ladies and gentlemen...we've got a bleeding heart, here. Don't want you to slip. It's one thing to think that these figures are the greatest damn items ever created by God or man (I think they're wrong, obviously, and I'll tell them such, but I won't horribly rain on their parade). It's another thing entirely to say that I have no basis for my opinion, even though I have more than enough evidence that these things are going to suck and suck hard. These people are truly imbeciles and I, for one, am sick of hearing/reading their uncritical Pollyanna crap. I don't like people challenging/debasing my opinion simply because it's unpopular. I guess we'll both just have to deal, chief. I hope you realize that you pretty much just told me that I can't call the toys trash on here, since doing so (and pointing out the flaws) would most certainly make someone have a bad day. As for right now, though, I've said my peace.

Yeah, well I'm pretty sick of dealing with overly positive douchebags with Peter Pan, zippedy-doo-da uncritical outlooks on things that absolutely suck major amounts of ass. You may think the hostility is misplaced, but they're just as bad as Hasbro because they're addicted ass-kissers who want nothing more than to suck up whatever bit of warped plastic Hasbro will send down the line next. Basically, it's people like them who enable Hasbro to make such overly blatant errors. These are the same people who thought the t-crotch on JvC was a nice change of pace, or who thought that Mattel was doing everything it could to make sure that the relaunch of MotU did well. Mindless sheep, and I'm sick of them. Sue me. Yes, because poor posing and distance will add three inches to a figure's legs and remove a neck completely. Now you're just reaching. Also, you would perhaps have a point if they hadn't been in the business for eons and were having equal issues with Star Wars--which they're not. As for them hitting it perfectly, those prototypes look pretty damn spiffy when compared to the mass-produced product--and not just due to paint apps, but in terms of sculpt, too. What's the story there? You have to admit that that's a pretty big "maybe." I don't think my personal expectations, which were based solely on pictures of prototypes produced by Hasbro itself, were high at all. I even had some buffers in case of paint flaws or minor leg warping. But, no. They couldn't even meet prototype standards.

You honestly think people will waste their money on shoddy paint aps (which have plagued us since Joe vs. Cobra), wonky proportions, and overall lackluster/fugly design flaws--especially considering the latter waves of Valor vs. Venom saw an absence of such problems and yet people STILL didn't buy them? Interesting concept. I'm sorry if you have the poor judgment/taste to like these wastes of plastic, but most consumers are more discerning than you are. If we were looking at figures that even remotely resembled the prototypes, I wouldn't be here complaining right now, because I think that most would agree that those figures are, indeed, nice. These are NOT those figures, but rather something less. Sorry if the fact that these figures look to be of poor quality rocks your world, but, well, too bad for you.

Really? Because I could have sworn that TNI put up pictures of what the final products will look like. In fact, I could have sworn that those pics are why this thread exists. Hm. Don't be ridiculous. These are pics of the final products, and they're a HUGE step back from the prototypes. The camera may put ten pounds on a person, but it doesn't add three inches to a figure's legs. That's just shoddy work. I'm bashing them because the prototypes looked awesome, and these final products look like absolute crap by comparison. That's why I'm pissed. I'm ready for a relaunch, but all Hasbro is giving us is the same old lackluster work that we've been getting from them since Joe vs. Cobra.

All I'm saying is that the glass isn't half-full. There's a lot wrong with these. If you don't think so, then more power to you--as I said, enjoy the horrid proportions and such. I won't, because I'm tired of being promised the Second Coming and getting something less exciting. Enjoy your lackluster figs/waste of money, sir. I hope they never release images of the second wave, mostly because the prototypes will certainly be a whole lot better than the final product--and I'd rather not see what could have been again.

I wouldn't say they totally screwed it up. Maybe to you, but the response has been pretty good so far. Or at least that's what Hasbro keeps saying in their press releases. As for Joes being the only thing Hasbro did well, well that's also up to debate, and based solely on opinion. Hasbro is a huge company that makes an insane amount of different products. Some are also liked very well, and would seem to have done some good in the sales department. I'm not totally blow away by these like some people have been, but I think they're good enough to give me something else to look for when I head into stores again. Enjoy your neckless Cobra Commander, paint flaws, and unnatural proportions. I, for one, am sick of them. The prototypes looked awesome. These look infinitely less-so. Case closed.

unfortunately, i agree. i'm still excited - very - but figures like the battle helmet CC look weird now... ungodly long skinny legs? who would think that looks good? and really, really, give the fella a neck.... hopefully things like the neck issue can be fixed with a lil' customizing. still holding out hopes hasbro gives us a great new zartan... Hopefully, but honestly, you shouldn't HAVE to fix the neck issue, because there shouldn't BE a neck issue TO FIX. Are they joking? Beyond the blatant paint flaws that these things are most assuredly going to have, we get sculpts that, in some cases, don't even remotely match the prototypes. The sculpts. The very things that SHOULD, if nothing else, match the prototypes DON'T MATCH AT ALL. And what is the deal with Hasbro and proportions? Star Wars figures are almost perfect in that regard--never a case of legs longer than a torso unless the character calls for it--and, yet, they can't seem to get it right with the license that put Hasbro on the map in the first place. Why? What is Hasbro's major malfunction? Does Hasbro truly think that sub-par figures are going to help sell the 25th Anniversary relaunch, or are they doing this on purpose? I'll tell you this...if the relaunch rests on how well these figures do, we won't have to worry about purchasing too many of these in the future, since we won't be seeing much beyond wave 2. These things are underwhelming and more than a little disappointing. If I could collect the prototypes, I would.

Um...what? Maybe I'm blind, but I see only five single-carded figures. Also, am I supposed to be less impressed by the actual figures and more impressed by the prototypes, or...? Because that's exactly what's happened here. Not to complain, but the actual products are less stellar than I had hoped.

Though JayC will likely not use this question as it's coming from me (as we've had a series of lovers' spats), I'll take a crack at it... How would the Hasbro reps categorize this new 3.75" line: 1) As a continuation of the JvC, DTC, etc. line, or 2) As a continuation of the 25th Anniversary line and, therefore, a relaunch of sorts? I ask because the answer to this question could tell us a lot about quality, articulation, character choice, etc.

First of all, four of those are retail STORES who rarely peddle their own products, so your point is lost on those. As for the rest, with the exception of Mattel (who blew He-Man and is currently blowing DC Superheroes), those companies have one thing that Hasbro does not: product consistency. Hasbro has been anything but consistent in bringing us the GI Joe line since the original ended in 1995. As has been said, they've cut corners, lost rights to the names of important characters, and repeatedly refuse to actually listen to their fanbase. THAT, my friend, is why NOTHING is assured at retail...and variations such as these so early in production do not instill me with great confidence. As for everyone else who says that these are "fine" or that they want "more repaints," I say this: So do I, but not before important characters (such as those in the Cobra High Command) are made.

In the spirit of Viper Hunter's awesome visual list, I've compiled my own visual list of who I think Hasbro will make to round up the last ten slots. Runners-up include: Heavy Duty Gristle Fast Blast Viper Nitro Viper Blanka Colonel Courage M. Bison Dee-Jay Admiral Keel-Haul Heavy Duty v2 Monstro-Viper Cesspool Iron Grenadier Destro Crystal Ball Big Brawler Steel Brigade Soldier Name Your Own "Create-A-Cobra" Sure Fire Captain Gridiron Ninja Viper Star Brigade Deep-Six Robo-Joe Wet Down Desert Camo Snow Serpent Nemesis Enforcer, hooded version Golobulus w/ Air Chariot Gung-Ho w/ Serpentor's Helmet (henceforth known as Gung-Serpentor) Seriously...it seems like Admiral Snackbar is running this line, amirite?

Suckma Dix is gone? LULZ!

Your not! Flint wasn't even considered worthy enough to have a full fledge NEW mold made for him, so I can't image what efforts would go into slappin' together another character besides SE, SS or CC, for us. lol I figured there were others out there...I just didn't have the patience to look through the thread, is all. Anger got the best of me and I just HAD to post. I like that list, though. I like it a lot more than the five figures we were just shown, only one of which can be considered "new" in ANY capacity.

All right, business major, how's this? They owe us because we've generated good will value for their franchise.

Wow. Another Storm Shadow, another Cobra Commander, another Snake-Eyes, and a repaint of the Cobra Trooper. And I was afraid that they would show me characters that haven't been released yet, like Major Bludd, Lady Jaye, or Zartan. Phew. Dodged the bullet there, amirite? Now if they could only fill the rest of the slots with alternate versions of characters we already have, I think we'll all be happy. Because no one wants to see lots of new characters when there's only 25 slots to fill. G.I. Joe? More like G.I. Jew. I can't be the only one who recognizes the fault in Storm Shadow having two figures while other popular characters have none. If this were an on-going line, then I wouldn't care so much. But we've only got 25 slots, and four variations are certainly not needed.