ToyFarce News: Collector Gets Prescribed 2 Action Figures/Week By Doctor (Who Is Also A Collector)?!

[ToyFarce]

A local collector has reportedly found the perfect way to justify his ever-growing pre-order list to his long-suffering partner: a medical prescription requiring him to buy two action figures per week... ToyFarce investigated.

"My wife said I needed to slow down with the spending..." said Nicholas, 39, carefully hiding a new import figure behind a couch cushion. "So I booked an appointment with a doctor, explained my symptoms, and now I'm legally obligated to buy toys. It's not a choice anymore. It's healthcare!" he explained.

The prescription, written by Dr. Thomas Lefig, a certified physician and well-known collector with seven Detolfs (Detolves?) glass cabinets in his office and a garage full of unopened shippers, clearly states: 2 action figures per week. Minimum. No substitutions.

"If the patient goes more than five days without placing a pre-order, his mood drops, his productivity collapses, and he starts saying dangerous things like 'Maybe I don't need this wave'" said Dr. Lefig. "This is a serious condition" he added.

Nicholas' wife, Maggie, remains unconvinced: "He already has 400+ figures!" she said. "The doctor wants him to buy more so he doesn't feel sad when a toy company delays things? I find it hard to believe..."

The Doctor insists the treatment is necessary, and even flexible: "If there is a big convention with reveals, or a livestream, we allow a temporary increase to three figures per week" explained Dr. Lefig. "And if a line is cancelled, we immediately compensate with a deluxe set."

At press time, Maggie was reportedly Googling how to get a second medical opinion, while her husband was nervously waiting for the next Hasbro Pulse livestream so he could refill his prescription. Their bank has already been informed that all future toy purchases should be classified as "medical expenses".

More news at 11:00... A figure a day keeps the sadness away
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!

[NerfTrooper]

Big Plastic…they raise the prices of figures to a ridiculous level, then get give kickbacks to the doctors for prescribing their products.

[memocromatico]

I hope my insurance covers these meds :V

 

[ucsf]

Solely based on the events, I heard that it is going to make it's way to Hollywood, with the working title: "The Doctor and the Seven Detolfs"

[Scattergorical]

What they failed to mention is the doctor's referral once the wife finds out: it will be off to the proctologist to remove the improvisational toy storage!