ToyFarce News: Collector Writes Letter to Santa To Ask If He Accepts Pre-Orders

[ToyFarce]

A local toy collector has reportedly entered his second week of waiting for the mailman after sending what he describes as a "very reasonable" pre-order request to Santa Claus. "I'm not asking for anything crazy" he explained. "Just a couple of figures that don't come out until March, one crowdfunded thing, and maybe a surprise reissue. I figured Santa could just... ship them later?". ToyFarce investigated...

According to the collector, the letter clearly stated that he was not expecting delivery on Christmas morning, only some form of confirmation: "I even wrote 'THIS IS A PRE-ORDER' in capital letters. Twice. That should trigger some kind of response, right?"---

The collector admits he understands Santa is busy this time of year, but says the lack of communication is starting to feel familiar: "I Just Need an Answer, Santa" he said. "Every other company sends at least an automated email... Even the worst ones.! Santa? Nothing. No confirmation, no delay notice, no 'we're experiencing high volumes of letters at the North Pole'. Nada."

“I'm fine waiting,” he added. “I just need to know IF I'm waiting.”

The collector admits he may have made assumptions based on modern toy buying habits. "In my head, Santa is basically a premium retailer with magic" he said. "So I thought: why wouldn't he do pre-orders? Elves make the toys, reindeer handle shipping, zero distribution issues. I just need to know what's his pre-order policy..."

However, doubts began creeping in after several days without a reply: "What if Santa only deals in in-stock items? What if Christmas morning is the only ship date? What if he's strictly anti-preorder?"

At press time, the collector was reportedly considering sending a follow-up letter, though he fears it might "reset the queue": "I don't want to be that guy" he admitted. "The one who double-emails Santa."

"I just want to know if pre-ordering from Santa is allowed" he condluded. "I'll Wait. I Always Do."

Despite the uncertainty, the collector remains cautiously optimistic: "Look, I've waited two years for figures before" he added. "Waiting for Santa is nothing. I just wish he'd communicate like a modern toy company. Or at least like a bad one."

At press time, the collector was last seen staring out a window, after checking his mailbox for the fifth time that morning.

More news at 11:00... unless Santa replies before that!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!

[ucsf]

That was hilarious! I really started to think about returns and international shipping. You never know when might Santa start a fully functional and branded (call it like ElveStock) global logistics company - he now only works a few days yearly soo...

[Scattergorical]

Santa has his own outsourced workshop so while pre-orders are a no-go, you can get a special exploited elven worker sweatshop knockoff version!