ToyFarce News: Toy Collector Turns 4th of July BBQ into Toy Photography Session, Nobody Gets to Eat!

[ToyFarce]

"He said it'd be quick. That was two hours and 150 photos ago..." What was meant to be a wholesome 4th of July backyard barbecue quickly spiraled out of control this Friday, as local action figure collector Josh brought his toys along "just to snap a few quick patriotic shots"... ToyFarce investigated.

According to eyewitnesses (his family), the grilling was immediately put on hold once Josh spotted "the perfect lighting near the grill" and proceeded to unpack a full display of Captain America, G.I. Joe Classified Series figures, and one shirtless Hulk Hogan figure.

"He used the smoke from the grill as fog, for realism..." said Josh's sister, visibly annoyed. "We were just trying to eat burgers!"

As the smell of hot dogs faded into the scent of plastic heating under the sun, Josh continued to set up elaborate poses involving flags, shield bounces, and dramatic salutes. A handmade diorama labeled "Freedom Base Alpha" was also placed on the table, rendering it unusable for food or beverages.

But Josh wasn't done yet. After the toy shoot, he proudly decided to give his display a little "Red, White, and Blue" spin, by rearranging his displayed action figures in those 3 colors. "Every 4th of July, I rearrange the whole collection to honor America" he explained. "Some people put up flags, I line up Marvel Legends, G.I.Joe Classified Series, DC Multiverse, Power Rangers, Transfomers, etc... in 3 sections: Red, white and blue. Scarlet Spider-Man is red, white and blue, so he can be in any section. That's patriotic enough!"

The last thing we heard is that when asked if the food would be ready soon, Josh responded "Hold on, I need a few night shots once the fireworks start. I brought glow-in-the-dark accessories and reflective foil backgrounds!"

More news at 11:00... Happy 4th of July, and remember to remove that Marvel Legends Captain Britain figure from your display, just for the day!

[ucsf]

Well, there is no accountant who ever finishes an insider job with the action figures! And of course heat is good for (any) joints, so.. it is legal to convert this day to "Independent Drooling" of others collections!