Thinking through G.I.Joe

[ARROW]

A thread or two here, and another on another forum sparked the idea for this.

 

Making sense of things in G.I.Joe that a lot of people don't think make sense.

Feel free to add your own--though just one rule: every question posed needs an explanation.

 

 

A classic: Why do the COBRA BATs wear clothes?

 

They are robots after all, right?

 

Its not clothing they are wearing--its KEVLAR.

Fitting a humanoid robot with hard-shell armour makes said robot quite heavy. The weight cost would subtract from the offensive systems ( weapons) and the computer hardware. What is the point of protecting the BATs if they cannot do much to begin with, right?

Well, using kevlar--a ballistic cloth-- it covers the operating parts with protective material, while cutting the weight cost for similar protection from hard-shell armour. It means they can be fitted with more weapons, and better logic AI systems.

Does that make sense?

 

 

Why does the new HISS(5) have the hydraulic lift systems?

 

Seems like a waste of engineering, right?

Think about how tanks work for a minute.

They often try to use defilade ( natural/artificial obstacles) to provide cover when they attack.

This means that when they unmask (reveal themselves) it commonly is horizontally--that is to say driving around a hill.

Unmasking vertically--driving over a hill--is usually undesired because there's a brief period of time when they are not only silhouetted on top of the cover, but their weapons (turret)is not always in a position to fire immediately.

That puts them at a tactical disadvantage. The turret and thus the weapons are all on top of the tank, usually on the upper quarter of the tank's over all height. Firing OVER cover is usually indirect, or limited to select location where the cover is only so high. Otherwise the tank has to go around cover to fire on its target.

 

HOWEVER, the new HISS tank overcomes that by hydraulically jacking up the turret--and thus its dorsal mounted weapons-- up to a height that can clear a lot of cover.

This means the new HISS can raise to fire, fire for effect, lower its fighting turret and then scoot away before return fire can occur.

This would reflect a overall strategy of COBRA armour forces using hit-and-run tactics to engage enemy forces, something that would be necessary if COBRA could field only limited forces. The HISS probably could not withstand a toe-to-toe slugging match with most main battle tanks........but it probably would seldom get into that kind of situation in the first place.

 

It would likely attack in a pack manner--several tanks attacking from different directions, all moving fast, using their hydraulic jacks to take aim, then scooting to another firing point. they would harass, distract, and when their opponent is in the right place, move in for the kill.

 

Does that make sense?

[Storetrooper]

I like this, I hope it keeps going. I wish I had something to contribute.

[ARROW]

I like this, I hope it keeps going. I wish I had something to contribute.

 

Keep in mind that these aren't official, just the product of some daydreaming.

 

They are purely fannish in all respects--though if Hasbro were to confirm/deny some, it would be sweet.

 

 

Now, if someone could just justify the P.O.G.O. ........ @smilepunch@

[ARROW]

The "aerial mine" the Trubble Bubble originally came with.

 

This one was always a big WTF for me.

 

But then I accepted some givens and it starts to make sense.

 

Given #1: COBRA, or MARS, has anti-grav technology.

Not something that is universally applicable to all their aircraft, but some stuff uses it.

 

Mines are denial weapons.

Unseen, they are terror weapons.

Floating mines in the water can be seen, floating aerial mines in the open sky can be seen too..................unless you hide them in clouds.

 

And there in lies the terrorist use of the weapon.

 

Imagine an aircraft, zooming along in the sky......flies through a cloud and unknowingly comes across one of these things.

 

Boom. Bye-bye plane.

Now, you might think.........okay, once the are discovered......JUST AVOID THE CLOUDS, right?

 

COBRA is crafty though.

If they have anti-grav, they probably have miniaturized proximity sensors, and a basic propulsion system worked into the Anti-grav (and maybe some stealth systems to defer RADAR detection) so the mines could not only drift along with the clouds......they can home in on a plane as it passes through/nearby, or create a blocking field it is path.

If you cannot see the mine, or pick it up on RADAR, you can fly right into one.

They are painted light colours--a common simple detection countermeasure, because light coloured objects blend into the sky, disguising them.

Imagine a area of sky seeded with these things.....and a Joe jet, or a copter flying along.....unaware of them, unable to detect them properly, and a bunch of these thing swoop out of the clouds at the Joes.

 

I cannot imagine them being fast enough to chase a jet, or perhaps even a copter ( but if anti-grav is a given, why not?) but they can move ahead and gather just fast enough to create an obstacle.

 

 

Does that make sense?

[hamsterboy]

^ If the mine has a magnet inside of it,would that help it to keep pace with a jet? The jet would be pullng it along and the mine will go the same speed,correct?

[ARROW]

^ If the mine has a magnet inside of it,would that help it to keep pace with a jet? The jet would be pullng it along and the mine will go the same speed,correct?

 

A magnet would be part of a proximity field sensor, that would detect changes to the magnetic field of the mine caused by another ferromagnetic object-such as an airplane.

A signal processor inside the mine would receive the signals from the magnetic field sensors and movement sensors and activate its propulsions system to get near to the jet and detonate.

most magnets, even really powerful electromagnets have a limited range of attraction of ferrous objects.....stay far enough away and the magnet cannot pull at you. But I think a magnet as part of the sensing systems, like a proximity fuse, makes perfect sense.

 

I am growing to like the idea of these things being fast enough to chase a jet--as the visual of a gaggle of these things tailing a fleeing jet it just too fun to pass up.

[Devilbat]

Cross Country driving the H.A.V.O.C. out on top of the vehicle, out in the open, unprotected, leaving him completely vulnerable to enemy fire.

 

Does that make sense? Wait, let me answer that for you: No, it does not. Hey...maybe he can borrow some kevlar clothes from a B.A.T. (lol)

 

I'm just kidding. I do enjoy rationalizing stuff that at first glance may seem crazy or nonsensical for the military, or G.I. Joe to be more specific. I'm guessing though there's gonna be alot more that doesn't make sense than does when we get to digging.

[ARROW]

Cross Country driving the H.A.V.O.C. out on top of the vehicle, out in the open, unprotected, leaving him completely vulnerable to enemy fire.

 

Does that make sense? Wait, let me answer that for you: No, it does not. Hey...maybe he can borrow some kevlar clothes from a B.A.T. (lol)

 

I'm just kidding. I do enjoy rationalizing stuff that at first glance may seem crazy or nonsensical for the military, or G.I. Joe to be more specific. I'm guessing though there's gonna be alot more that doesn't make sense than does when we get to digging.

The HAVOC came out the same year as the STUN, and they BOTH had the same problem!

And you are right--there's a lot of stuff that just cannot be rationalized.

[hamsterboy]

There's quite a few vehicles like that on both sides. One good head shot from a sniper and they're toast.

[ARROW]

There's quite a few vehicles like that on both sides. One good head shot from a sniper and they're toast.

Yeah, for all the "10 minutes into the future" tech, they never really seemed to grasp the idea of armoured cupolas and periscopes.

 

And in a couple of cases, just using the weapons on the vehicle would kill the crew!!

[Devilbat]

(lol) That's hilarious. That stuff never occured to me when playing with this stuff growing up. I mentioned the H.A.V.O.C., but actually loved it as a kid. I didn't skip a beat as a kid when I placed Cross Country in his driver's seat. Good luck man. Nice knowin' ya. (lol)

 

Gosh...now that I think about it, it seems like there were a few cases where I stopped and thought, "Y'know...if someone really used/shot/flew that thing, they'd be incinerated and/or horribly disfigured!" I just can't think of what they might be just now though...

[JohnnyRebelV2]

The HAVOC was one of my favorites due to it's frequent use in the cartoon. But damn it's design is silly.

[hamsterboy]

Here's one I just though of:Zandar. According to his file,none one was suppose to remember what he looked like. Really? With that hair of his? Or those lighting bolt chest tattoos?

[ARROW]

Here's one I just though of:Zandar. According to his file,none one was suppose to remember what he looked like. Really? With that hair of his? Or those lighting bolt chest tattoos?

 

He has hair?

 

Lightning bolt tattoos???

[Peter]

Here's one. It's gonna sound like I'm joking, but I'm actually serious. It's kinda 2 questions.

 

Why in god's name would they change MainFrame and Nemesis Enforcer's names, but Snow job is still named Snow job?

[ARROW]

Here's one. It's gonna sound like I'm joking, but I'm actually serious. It's kinda 2 questions.

 

Why in god's name would they change MainFrame and Nemesis Enforcer's names, but Snow job is still named Snow job?

 

Trademarks and ownership issues. Trademarks can lapse because the legal departments simply fail to re-registered them when the time comes around, and they can be socked up some someone else. This has happened before ( actually many times before) and specifically with lines like GIJOE. For a time in the late 1990's a competitor(Playing Mantis) of Hasbro got the rights to the Adventure Team and all of its characters and "threatened" to produce them as part of its Captain Action line.

For whatever reason, that did not happen--likely due to some legal manoeuvring--and Hasbro was able to reacquire the rights after Playing Mantis failed to product anything with them.

[Peter]

Here's one. It's gonna sound like I'm joking, but I'm actually serious. It's kinda 2 questions.

 

Why in god's name would they change MainFrame and Nemesis Enforcer's names, but Snow job is still named Snow job?

 

Trademarks and ownership issues. Trademarks can lapse because the legal departments simply fail to re-registered them when the time comes around, and they can be socked up some someone else. This has happened before ( actually many times before) and specifically with lines like GIJOE. For a time in the late 1990's a competitor(Playing Mantis) of Hasbro got the rights to the Adventure Team and all of its characters and "threatened" to produce them as part of its Captain Action line.

For whatever reason, that did not happen--likely due to some legal manoeuvring--and Hasbro was able to reacquire the rights after Playing Mantis failed to product anything with them.

 

Makes sense. So it's legal reasons that the name changes happened then, eh?

 

Still think Snow Job could use a name change. I would give him the hardest time if I were a Joe.

[DarthJoe]

There's quite a few vehicles like that on both sides. One good head shot from a sniper and they're toast.

Yeah, for all the "10 minutes into the future" tech, they never really seemed to grasp the idea of armoured cupolas and periscopes.

 

And in a couple of cases, just using the weapons on the vehicle would kill the crew!!

 

This always bothered me with the Snowcat when I was a kid. It was nice there were so many places to put figures on it, but the pegs behind the cab put the figures right in front of the HUGE missiles on the sides, and any guys hanging off the back of the vehicle were sure to be toasted by firing off the missiles in the turret.

[JohnnyRebelV2]

 

Makes sense. So it's legal reasons that the name changes happened then, eh?

 

Still think Snow Job could use a name change. I would give him the hardest time if I were a Joe.

 

Imagine how the bastard love child he had with BlowTorch feels.

[hamsterboy]

Here's one I just though of:Zandar. According to his file,none one was suppose to remember what he looked like. Really? With that hair of his? Or those lighting bolt chest tattoos?

 

He has hair?

 

Lightning bolt tattoos???

 

Sure does.

[ARROW]

Here's one I just though of:Zandar. According to his file,none one was suppose to remember what he looked like. Really? With that hair of his? Or those lighting bolt chest tattoos?

 

He has hair?

 

Lightning bolt tattoos???

 

Sure does.

 

I was kinda playing out the joke about no-one could remember what he looks like. ;-)

 

But I really did not know he had lightning tattoos........and I used to have that figure years ago.

[ARROW]

I always thought the "Snow Job" codename was a clever play-on-words for the character, but i think more than a few people cross-connected it to "blow job" and that is where it went downhill.

The one codename I have still not figured out is, surprisingly, for Snake Eyes--I still do not get whatever connotations that one is supposed to have and how it applies to the character.

[wolverine2281]

I always thought the "Snow Job" codename was a clever play-on-words for the character, but i think more than a few people cross-connected it to "blow job" and that is where it went downhill.

The one codename I have still not figured out is, surprisingly, for Snake Eyes--I still do not get whatever connotations that one is supposed to have and how it applies to the character.

ah, "blow job" now I get it. Thanks for spelling that out

I think on Renegades on one of the Snake Eyes episodes the Hard Master named him that for some reason but I can't remember. Not that it has anything to do with his original code name.

[ARROW]

I always thought the "Snow Job" codename was a clever play-on-words for the character, but i think more than a few people cross-connected it to "blow job" and that is where it went downhill.

The one codename I have still not figured out is, surprisingly, for Snake Eyes--I still do not get whatever connotations that one is supposed to have and how it applies to the character.

ah, "blow job" now I get it. Thanks for spelling that out

I think on Renegades on one of the Snake Eyes episodes the Hard Master named him that for some reason but I can't remember. Not that it has anything to do with his original code name.

 

Yeah wwll for those that do not know- and there's a few out there- "snow job" is a term that refers to hoodwinking someone, fooling/tricking them, which I gather was a trait of the character.

Sadly, so many people seem to take any "oh-vowelled" word combined with "job" and think its the crude reference.

[rjp1973]

How 'bout riding the skids on the Dragonfly?