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The Top 10 Reasons The GI Joe Movie Will Suck


DarthJoe
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I'm just saying a happy medium would please everyone.

Ah... but there's the rub. Who defines this 'happy medium'? How does it please 'everyone'?

 

I totally agree that if we could find some middle ground between the interests of the adult collector and the marketing to kids, we'd see an incredible toyline. But it's easy to say it's possible; making it a reality is much more difficult.

I don't think its as difficult as everyone wants to make it out to be.

 

Collectors: Collectors want articulation, detail, and quality in paint (for lack of a better way to phrase it).

 

Kids: Kids want lights, sounds and spring loaded weapons.

 

 

Is that an incorrect view of "who wants what"?

I don't think it's incorrect... but I think we DO get that particular combo, and there's STILL complaining. Go look at the thread about the movie Scrap-Iron & Ferret and tell me that combining these things pleases 'everyone'. This entire debate here is in many ways the same stuff that was being bandied about there.

 

Again, the heart of the issue, IMO, is that a good number in the fandom (of this and many other properties) want to collect a children's toyline, but take offense at any attempt to appeal to children. There's a lot of adult fans out there who don't want a nice little middle ground, they want everything to be for them. Those fans (again, often some of the most vocal, and one of the reasons, IMO, why adult fans/collectors of children's stuff are often looked down on) don't give two bits about what kids want, or about the toy company trying to sell the children's toyline to the kids it's made for. There's a lot of entitlement and greed about 'my' collection, which in turn leads to a lot of ignorance about what others (both fellow adult fans and children) actually want.

 

I'm not pointing fingers, or trying to paint an overly-negative picture of any fandom here. I think a lot of adult fans suffer a little of this from time to time (I know I do), and it's only the really extreme sorts who exemplify what I'm talking about all the time. Unfortunately, I do think those are the guys who tend to yell the loudest.

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Ahh...when possible, I just ignore the add-ons and accessories that are aimed at kids. For example, when I bought the Clone Wars animated Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I realize that entire line is aimed at kids, but anyway...I simply left off the projectiles and/or grappling hooks when I displayed them.

 

Now when it comes to G.I. Joe, I have hated any sound effects they've included in recent years, like the Sound Attack stuff. If it doesn't sound realistic, I say why bother. I remember thinking the sound effects with some of the Sigma 6 stuff sounded better. And really I don't mind the projectiles if they're incorporated well.

 

I don't know. Stuff like that's hard to ignore or disregard so easily when you have the situation we've seen with the Ferret, where a classic design has been radically altered to accomodate some sound effect or projectile feature. If it were a completely different vehicle, maybe us older collectors wouldn't be so upset. But then again, I was never a huge fan of the Ferret to begin with...

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I find the Ferret argument even funnier: Hasbro isn't going to retool/newly tool a vehicle like that and only use it for the gimmick-ized movie form. The fact that Ferret mold exists is all but a dead giveaway that we're going to get a purely "classic" Ferret in the future. Whether it's sooner (before movie) or later (after movie) I can't say, but it'd be a sure bet at this point. All it is is a matter of painting and swapping out the action-feature thingie with the old cannon.

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I'm just saying a happy medium would please everyone.

Ah... but there's the rub. Who defines this 'happy medium'? How does it please 'everyone'?

 

I totally agree that if we could find some middle ground between the interests of the adult collector and the marketing to kids, we'd see an incredible toyline. But it's easy to say it's possible; making it a reality is much more difficult.

I don't think its as difficult as everyone wants to make it out to be.

 

Collectors: Collectors want articulation, detail, and quality in paint (for lack of a better way to phrase it).

 

Kids: Kids want lights, sounds and spring loaded weapons.

 

 

Is that an incorrect view of "who wants what"?

I don't think it's incorrect... but I think we DO get that particular combo, and there's STILL complaining. Go look at the thread about the movie Scrap-Iron & Ferret and tell me that combining these things pleases 'everyone'. This entire debate here is in many ways the same stuff that was being bandied about there.

 

Again, the heart of the issue, IMO, is that a good number in the fandom (of this and many other properties) want to collect a children's toyline, but take offense at any attempt to appeal to children. There's a lot of adult fans out there who don't want a nice little middle ground, they want everything to be for them. Those fans (again, often some of the most vocal, and one of the reasons, IMO, why adult fans/collectors of children's stuff are often looked down on) don't give two bits about what kids want, or about the toy company trying to sell the children's toyline to the kids it's made for. There's a lot of entitlement and greed about 'my' collection, which in turn leads to a lot of ignorance about what others (both fellow adult fans and children) actually want.

 

I'm not pointing fingers, or trying to paint an overly-negative picture of any fandom here. I think a lot of adult fans suffer a little of this from time to time (I know I do), and it's only the really extreme sorts who exemplify what I'm talking about all the time. Unfortunately, I do think those are the guys who tend to yell the loudest.

 

Well what I said applied to the figures. Vehicles and playsets are a different matter.

 

I think there is still potential to give us a middle ground with the vehicles. The Thunderwing, I believe, is a good example of that. Others argue that we will, most likely, get the Ferret (to use that as an example) in RAH styling later on. But there is a chance we won't.

 

So what is the middle ground when it comes to vehicles and playsets?

 

Unobtrusiveness.

 

They can add in lights and sounds and springloaded weapons and still maintain the "quality" the collectors want. Look at the Universe/Classics TFs. Silverbolt and Onslaught have lights and sounds. But they are relatively unobstrusive. Use them or don't. As opposed to the Road Rebel or Treadfire that was SO centered on the gimmick that they sacrificied....well, everything else.

 

I think some of the complaints about the Ferret is the fact that its the FIRST of the line we've seen. It is an "ominous" sign of what is to come. What could the do to fix it? Well they could change the color. But that precludes a later repaint.

 

What I think they could do would be to include replacement items, the way that they have been putting replacement heads in with some of the figures. That Ferret has a big ass gun of some kind (my first impression was some kind of "flip out" blade or something). They could include the "normal" one as well.

 

But, of course, your right. Collecting IS a "my way or the highway" kind of mentality for most collectors. Sometimes that's a good thing. It gets things fixed because enough agree on the "my way". Other times its just bluster and blather.

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Ahh...when possible, I just ignore the add-ons and accessories that are aimed at kids. For example, when I bought the Clone Wars animated Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I realize that entire line is aimed at kids, but anyway...I simply left off the projectiles and/or grappling hooks when I displayed them.

 

Now when it comes to G.I. Joe, I have hated any sound effects they've included in recent years, like the Sound Attack stuff. If it doesn't sound realistic, I say why bother. I remember thinking the sound effects with some of the Sigma 6 stuff sounded better. And really I don't mind the projectiles if they're incorporated well.

 

I don't know. Stuff like that's hard to ignore or disregard so easily when you have the situation we've seen with the Ferret, where a classic design has been radically altered to accomodate some sound effect or projectile feature. If it were a completely different vehicle, maybe us older collectors wouldn't be so upset. But then again, I was never a huge fan of the Ferret to begin with...

 

Well part of the problem is the WAY they decide to implement some of these "kid-friendly" features. The sound attack idea was cool for about 5 minutes, but then it just got stupid because they not only messed up the guns with the tab, but it defeated the purpose of having a gun make machine gun sounds when it was attached to the side of a vehicle instead of in the figure's hands. Not to mention it looked stupid.

 

Remember the Sonic Fighter subset? In my opinion, THAT would have worked better. At least then the backpacks could be removed. Not to mention the backpacks could probably be smaller than they were in 91. Or battle stands of some kind. The figures all have stands, so how about just beefing up the stand and throwing on a button or two for the weapon sounds? I had suggested, in another thread, that they could put out some of the old playsets like the Alpha Checkpoint with sound features.

 

And for the spring loaded missiles, we KNOW they can make ones that are smaller and less obtrusive

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Well part of the problem is the WAY they decide to implement some of these "kid-friendly" features. The sound attack idea was cool for about 5 minutes, but then it just got stupid because they not only messed up the guns with the tab, but it defeated the purpose of having a gun make machine gun sounds when it was attached to the side of a vehicle instead of in the figure's hands. Not to mention it looked stupid.

 

Remember the Sonic Fighter subset? In my opinion, THAT would have worked better. At least then the backpacks could be removed. Not to mention the backpacks could probably be smaller than they were in 91. Or battle stands of some kind. The figures all have stands, so how about just beefing up the stand and throwing on a button or two for the weapon sounds? I had suggested, in another thread, that they could put out some of the old playsets like the Alpha Checkpoint with sound features.

 

And for the spring loaded missiles, we KNOW they can make ones that are smaller and less obtrusive

 

That's very true. Action Features can certainly be done in a way that limits the impact on the appearance of the toys, or even enhances it. Look at the "BMF" Millennium Falcon from Star Wars this year. The thing is loaded with "action features" but in such a way that it doesn't detract from the overall design at all.

 

Just like making spring-loaded launchers removeable accessories on action figures, you can "hide" the spring-loaded stuff in a form that looks decent or even "right" (like the launchers on the DTC HISS tank, for example). I'd imagine if the ferret we've seen (even if I firmly believe we'll get the classic version) had a big spring-loaded cannon that resembled the original instead of that weirdo claw-thing or whatever it is, people would mostly be praising it.

 

Or of course the option of "hiding" it still exists (like the Thunderwing). Action features can definitely be done in a manner that doesn't immediately tick off most adult fans. Heck, some adult fans even like the action features when they do it this way. Of course, there'll always be a tiny vocal minority that thinks any action feature is "teh devil." (I don't care for them much at all on figures, but if they're "removeable" and don't interfere with the articulation I can deal with it). Hated the sound attack tabs on figures' weapons, too. Even if an Xacto made them pretty easily removeable, it felt like you were getting one or two useless accessories in a pack. The ones on vehicles didn't bother me as much because often they looked like they belonged on the vehicle.

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No matter the line, there will always be gimmicks. Luckily, gimmicks don't last long

 

Well as we said above gimmicks aren't necessarily a problem. It has more to do with implementation then what the gimmick is. Of course, then you have the lines where the gimmick IS the primary factor like Transformers or M.A.S.K.

 

But even then, those have additional gimmicks which, of course, is what is meant by "gimmick" in the first place.

 

Funky colors (perhaps), spring-loaded weapons, lights and sounds.

 

Lights and sounds can be dealt with if you don't like them: Batteries.

 

Spring-Loaded weapons, well when it comes to figures they are, obviously, removable. Baroness comes with a bg ass missile launcher (wtf?) but that can be dispensed with.

 

Funky colors, well, that is frequently taken care of by simply being repainted and rereleased. 98% of the time the repaint looks better than the original.

 

What other features are there?

 

"Exploding" or "damaged" sections (vehicle or playset). The kind where you press a button and a section of wall is "destroyed". I expect we would see that on the Pitt, if that's a real item. That Hulk humvee is an example. The one where the Hulk smashes the front end. Those, luckily are few and far between since it costs more to make.

 

Color change gimmicks. Especially now, that kind of plastic is too expensive to use. Not to mention they screwed it up somehow from 1984. Even Vomit Face Zartan only had the face change color.

 

 

Something else to consider with the movie is they WILL be going for a more "realistic" look. They have to, in a way, because the real military doesn't have Sky Hawks or H.A.V.O.C.s or even V.A.M.P.s. Take, for example, the Scarab mentioned in Toyfare. Its just a decked out Humvee. I think it takes more money to fabricate a new vehicle than it does to rent one.

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