The Top 10 Reasons The GI Joe Movie Will Suck

[pesatyel]

Anyhow, on a side note... what the hell is with all the people bashing the bashers? I am sorry, not everybody likes to stand still and eat crap while we should be eating steak. You guys musta gotten beat up alot in your lives and have just adapted this "take it" mentality. It's sad.

 

No-one is saying "stand still and eat crap". You want to think that because you seem to not be able to think otherwise. What have you done besides complaining about it?

The complaining DOES NOTHING.

 

Its not constructive, the complainers never offer alternatives ( very few of them ever bother to delve into WHY the stuff comes out the way it does anyway), and they just close off reception of any other idea but those that feed their consumption.

Much like a spoiled child that throws a tantrum because they are not getting their pablum.

Well, most of us outgrow pablum, but it seems that tantrums can be a bit hard for some to shed.

 

The internet makes it EASY to complain. You just type in your rant and hit " enter" or "send".....so its easy to vent something off the cuff.

As we see so often......."off the cuff" means more shooting off of the mouth.....more static, if you will, and its does next to nothing.

Its not enough to simply speak with your wallet and not buy the stuff ( which is far, far more effective than ANY posted rant ever has been), instead people feel the need to bellow from the rooftops about their dislikes as well.

If the movie sucks.......it sucks. If it works well, great.......it'll be fun to watch. Complaining, or boosting the film will change neither of those things, because those things are outside of our control.

No-one is saying people HAVE TO like the movie, but the bashers end up thinking that.

 

So, yea, count me as bashing the bashers. I think they are wasting bandwidth and, frankly....they deserve it.

Given the vitriol of some posters on the forums, one can only wonder if its too much asking folks to keep an open mind.

Sure seems that way, I think.

 

 

sooo.. complaining accomplishes nothing? Since when? I think it is the opposite, bending over for everything accomplishes nothing. You can bend over Arrow, but that's not how I roll... I mean, if that's your thing, that's your thing.. You won't hear me bashing you for liking it.

 

I am certain that I have read, SEVERAL times, Hasbro people stating that they read the forums and listen to fans through various outlets. They say "we hear what the fans want" and they are thus able to make changes.

 

How many changes has Hasbro made just to the 25th line based on input (complaints) from fans? PLENTY.

 

Let's take Flint. Everybody bought the guy, he was the hardest figure to find of all until his reissue. Yet, some people complained that they wanted him with his original short sleeves and gloves on. Hasbro announced that they heard the fans and planned the fix. They certainly didn't have to, I mean he sold well enough with the Duke sleeves on.

 

I think that is an accomplishment (a direct result of complaining). So uh... I guess your theory is bunk.

 

if everybody were like you, we would still have t-crotch JvC figures...

 

no thanks.

 

Hasbro isn't making this movie (which is the complaining Arrow is referring to). Guess you better go start complaining on the Paramount forums (if they have them), though given that they've already finished principal photography, I guess you're probably out of luck for getting any major changes done to the film.

 

PS: If T-Crotch JvC figures had sold like wildfire, no amount of complaining in the world would have caused Hasbro to change them. Beyond that, "fixing" figures is a relatively easy way for Hasbro to double-dip the same way they always do with minimal costs for new tooling (particularly if the "fix" is made up of tooling already used in other sources ala Shipwreck's lower arms, etc...). It's not just some magnanimous gesture to the fans. They're selling us essentially the same figure twice, after all, and most of us are buying both.

 

Yeah, Hasbro does try to listen to fans/consumers when and where they can...any good business does. More importantly though, is that it's when and where it can line up with Hasbro's own business models and profit margin guidelines. Saying they read these forums and take that input under advisement is just like their Q&A sessions: It's good PR. All the better because it's good spin on technical truth, if not quite as black-and-white truth as it appears on the surface.

 

Hasbro is creative consultant to the movie. Why wouldn't they be? They OWN the product in question and the toyline is and will be a significant factor for the movie. And Hasbro is pretty staunch when it comes to their product.

 

And your completely missing the point of the his comment about the T-Crotch. Them "selling like wildfire" is IRRELIEVANT. Point of fact is that we bought them, we complained, they got changed.

 

While it is true there are only so many changes they can make and that the fans tend to be "demanding" (ie. want the changes NOW), if we didn't complain, Hasbro wouldn't even know they HAD a problem. Beach Head, for example was a RUNNING change, in the middle of the wave, to correct that crappy crotch problem that plagued so many of the earlier 25th figures.

 

You say its "good PR" to listen to us. It is. But its BAD PR to NOT heed the complaints. If your customer has a problem with your product and you don't address it, you can lose customers.

 

You say that fixing figures is a way for them to "double dip". That's true and nobody is complaning (well, sure they are, but generall speaking) about that. It is the same for body reuses (DTC Low-LIght made MUCH better use of the mold then Torpedo) or repaints (Cobra Commander in dark blue, baby blue, baby blue with a white stripe, black, red, etc.). There were bugs they had to work out and, for the most part, they did. But that doesn't excuse the stupid mistakes they made. For example, using those stupid Duke Arms for 5 versions of Duke, Flint, Doc, Rock & Roll, Breaker (2 versions), Clutch, Leatherneck, Steeler, and Falcon. The KNEW we hated them, which is why they changed them so quick with Tiger Force Flint, but why the hell did they keep using them?

[Jmacq1]

Hasbro isn't making this movie (which is the complaining Arrow is referring to). Guess you better go start complaining on the Paramount forums (if they have them), though given that they've already finished principal photography, I guess you're probably out of luck for getting any major changes done to the film.

 

PS: If T-Crotch JvC figures had sold like wildfire, no amount of complaining in the world would have caused Hasbro to change them. Beyond that, "fixing" figures is a relatively easy way for Hasbro to double-dip the same way they always do with minimal costs for new tooling (particularly if the "fix" is made up of tooling already used in other sources ala Shipwreck's lower arms, etc...). It's not just some magnanimous gesture to the fans. They're selling us essentially the same figure twice, after all, and most of us are buying both.

 

Yeah, Hasbro does try to listen to fans/consumers when and where they can...any good business does. More importantly though, is that it's when and where it can line up with Hasbro's own business models and profit margin guidelines. Saying they read these forums and take that input under advisement is just like their Q&A sessions: It's good PR. All the better because it's good spin on technical truth, if not quite as black-and-white truth as it appears on the surface.

 

Hasbro is creative consultant to the movie. Why wouldn't they be? They OWN the product in question and the toyline is and will be a significant factor for the movie. And Hasbro is pretty staunch when it comes to their product.

 

Sure, Hasbro has some creative input, and clearly they AGREE with the changes that have been made to the property for the movie. Let's also not fool ourselves into thinking that they have any sort of "final" say. Once those licensing agreements are signed, the movie studios control most of the creative power unless they go horrendously off-the-rails. All Hasbro sees at this point are the mountains of cash they got for Transformers. Look at how much the fans complained about that, now compare it to how much money it made all-around. Trust me, Hasbro is putting far more faith in the movie studios than the pre-emptive fan whining after that episode (especially since active Joe fandom is considerably smaller than Transformers fandom). Hasbro's probably already seen as close to the "finished movie" as can be arranged at this point. They know what they're getting. We don't.

 

And your completely missing the point of the his comment about the T-Crotch. Them "selling like wildfire" is IRRELIEVANT. Point of fact is that we bought them, we complained, they got changed.

 

It's not "irrelevant." It's basic business sense. Something a lot of collectors seem to lack. If you can get consumers to buy a lower-price product despite their complaints, there's no need to spend the money to change them. I would wager in this case Hasbro looked at the writing on the wall and realized the line probably would NOT enjoy long-term success without the change (bearing in mind there was no media tie-in, so old-school collectors were critical for the line's health at that point). If that writing had said something different, we might very well still be getting T-crotch Joes to this day (as they're cheaper to make than O-Rings). Heck, there are plenty of collectors still complaining about the 25th Anniversary figures not having O-Rings, but you don't see Hasbro going back, do you?

 

While it is true there are only so many changes they can make and that the fans tend to be "demanding" (ie. want the changes NOW), if we didn't complain, Hasbro wouldn't even know they HAD a problem. Beach Head, for example was a RUNNING change, in the middle of the wave, to correct that crappy crotch problem that plagued so many of the earlier 25th figures.

 

You say its "good PR" to listen to us. It is. But its BAD PR to NOT heed the complaints. If your customer has a problem with your product and you don't address it, you can lose customers.

 

You say that fixing figures is a way for them to "double dip". That's true and nobody is complaning (well, sure they are, but generall speaking) about that. It is the same for body reuses (DTC Low-LIght made MUCH better use of the mold then Torpedo) or repaints (Cobra Commander in dark blue, baby blue, baby blue with a white stripe, black, red, etc.). There were bugs they had to work out and, for the most part, they did. But that doesn't excuse the stupid mistakes they made. For example, using those stupid Duke Arms for 5 versions of Duke, Flint, Doc, Rock & Roll, Breaker (2 versions), Clutch, Leatherneck, Steeler, and Falcon. The KNEW we hated them, which is why they changed them so quick with Tiger Force Flint, but why the hell did they keep using them?

 

So wait: Complaining makes changes, but sometimes it doesn't? You've just offered up evidence that contradicts what you're trying to say (continued use of "Duke Arms" long after the complaints were registered). The reason Hasbro did that is simple: The figures had already been tooled up and changing them at that point would have cost more money than it was worth for Hasbro to go back and fix. Hence - BUSINESS!

 

No one's "excusing mistakes" but the point of my original discussion was that Hasbro "listening to complaints" and "fixing things" is just good business from their end because it gets us buying the same figures over and over again. It's not some glorious gesture from Hasbro that proves the collectors have all the power. The fact that not listening to or communicating with fans would be bad business is actually IRRELEVANT, because it has no bearing on my original point. I'd already said it was good business, and it's something they already do.

 

In short, Hasbro is a business, and Hasbro's business concerns will ALWAYS take priority over collectors' whining. In fact, I'd say collector's whining is a distant THIRD at best: Behind Hasbro's business priorities and behind the retailer's desires (hence the inclusion of a Duke, Cobra Commander, or Snake-Eyes in virtually every single case pack).

[Jmacq1]

Even Walmart knows its gonna suck, Wolvering and TF ROTF toys are getting a MOD reset, While joe isn't getting squat.

 

Given that we don't know a release date for the toys yet, the general lack of movie tie-in toys (which retailers love) next year, and given the supposed volume of toys that are coming for the movie tie-in, that's rather unlikely.

 

I suspect your information is either incorrect, or due to be updated. That, or perhaps TF: RotF and G.I. Joe toys hit right around the same time and the MOD will include both.

 

By comparison, which movies got a MOD reset this year?

[Ccav]

Even Walmart knows its gonna suck, Wolvering and TF ROTF toys are getting a MOD reset, While joe isn't getting squat.

 

Given that we don't know a release date for the toys yet, the general lack of movie tie-in toys (which retailers love) next year, and given the supposed volume of toys that are coming for the movie tie-in, that's rather unlikely.

 

I suspect your information is either incorrect, or due to be updated. That, or perhaps TF: RotF and G.I. Joe toys hit right around the same time and the MOD will include both.

 

By comparison, which movies got a MOD reset this year?

 

 

Here's an excerpt from the Walmart 2009 Toys Spring Modular Guide:

 

*Action Figures is a "win" category for the toy department. Sales for

Spring and Summer 2009 will be driven pirmarily off the new Hollywood

movies coming to the big screen. Listed below are theatrical release

dates which will affect the action figure category and the toy

department:

 

? May 1 - Wolverine (new Marvel movie)

? May 8 - Star Trek

? May 22nd - Terminator 4

? June 26th - Transformers 2

? August 7th - GI Joe

 

*We will do two mod updates during the season to introduce a couple of

the above properties. On March 9, we will do an update to incorporate

of the [sic] new Wolverine toys from Hasbro. Then on May 29th for the last mod reset, we

will do a second update to bring in all of the new Transformers 2 toys

to support the movie release.

 

*Transformers will be far and away the largest action figure license

for the year. On May 29th, when we do the mod update, we will

dedicate major space on our action figure modular to support this

movie event.

 

Zob

 

 

Unlikely my butt, its confirmed.

[Jmacq1]

Unlikely my butt, its confirmed.

 

So basically: Because they're not doing a MOD reset in SPRING for a movie that's a late mid-late SUMMER release, you don't think one's coming?

 

I stand by my "due to be updated" statement. Wait until their SUMMER circular comes out, which will probably mention an early "summer season" MOD reset for G.I. Joe.

 

Because, y'know, the toys probably aren't making it out until early-mid summer anyhow.

[revsears]

Unlikely my butt, its confirmed.

 

So basically: Because they're not doing a MOD reset in SPRING for a movie that's a late mid-late SUMMER release, you don't think one's coming?

 

I stand by my "due to be updated" statement. Wait until their SUMMER circular comes out, which will probably mention an early "summer season" MOD reset for G.I. Joe.

 

Because, y'know, the toys probably aren't making it out until early-mid summer anyhow.

it might also be a good idea to keep in mind TF pushes more product and more lines at once while joe's movie line will be essentially taking over the spot it already has on the shelf.

[Stevy Maximus]

Unlikely my butt, its confirmed.

 

So basically: Because they're not doing a MOD reset in SPRING for a movie that's a late mid-late SUMMER release, you don't think one's coming?

 

I stand by my "due to be updated" statement. Wait until their SUMMER circular comes out, which will probably mention an early "summer season" MOD reset for G.I. Joe.

 

Because, y'know, the toys probably aren't making it out until early-mid summer anyhow.

Having worked at Walmart during 2007, I can tell Ccav right now that each of those modulars will have more than one change. Wolverine and Transformers are simply ones being cited as being the big drivers in each update. Back in 07, those same mod planners talked up the releases of Pirates 3 and Spider-Man 3 with nary a mention of Transformers, and look how that turned out.

 

More than likely, the March update will cycle in the early movie lines (Wolverine, Fury Files, Star Trek, Terminator) with the May reset bringing in GI Joe and Transformers (with Transformers being the core push)

[Valdin]

Anyone notice on the signing the registration for news on the movie site, that it says august. I could have swore it was set for may.

[Stevy Maximus]

Anyone notice on the signing the registration for news on the movie site, that it says august. I could have swore it was set for may.

No, the actual movie will be released on August, the toys will be out at retail likely by the end of May if not early June.

[GeneralScarlett]

Anyone notice on the signing the registration for news on the movie site, that it says august. I could have swore it was set for may.

 

Nope, its always been scheduled for an August release......the 7th if I'm remembering correctly. #US1#

[pesatyel]

In short, Hasbro is a business, and Hasbro's business concerns will ALWAYS take priority over collectors' whining. In fact, I'd say collector's whining is a distant THIRD at best: Behind Hasbro's business priorities and behind the retailer's desires (hence the inclusion of a Duke, Cobra Commander, or Snake-Eyes in virtually every single case pack).

 

The point is collector's "whining" IS the company's concern. If they don't make the product the customer wants, they lose the customer. It is a juggling act. If we said nothing about T-Crotches, we would still HAVE T-Crotches. WE were the "writing on the wall".

 

I'm not even sure what we are arguing about anymore.

[nonameshmo30]

I think right now Because its kinda been hush hush people are freaking out. But till its on the big screen lets at least give it a chance to even be made. I;m not saying its going to be the best thing since bread but wel will just have to see.

 

Yo Joe

[Tom-1]

the best thing since bread

 

 

@loll@ @loll@ @loll@

 

Tom

[Jmacq1]

it might also be a good idea to keep in mind TF pushes more product and more lines at once while joe's movie line will be essentially taking over the spot it already has on the shelf.

 

 

Oh, Transformers is going to get a huge amount of shelf space, of that I have no doubt. After the near-disaster that the "shortage" of movie toys for the first film entailed, Hasbro and the retailers won't be taking any chances. It's a proven media tie-in property with a proven track record.

 

However, the Joe movie line will absolutely have to have more than the rather minimal shelf-space it has now, because the movie line is introducing several more product lines and pricepoints than currently exist. Plus, after the "Transformers shortage" the retailers are more heavily ordering and Hasbro is more heavily producing movie tie-in lines so they can avoid being caught with their proverbial pants down again. Nobody wants to be the retailer that doesn't have the "hot new movie" toys in stock, and no one knows just how well any of these films are going to perform. Yeah, Transformers is probably a pretty sure thing, but G.I. Joe could still be a huge hit, which could drive the toy sales through the roof (which is of course what Hasbro wants).

 

Which also sums up why I'm a firm supporter of the film thus far: A successful movie and a successful toy line would be the best possible thing for the Joe brand. I know some people have the fear that a successful movie line will somehow cause Hasbro to abandon the "classic" Joe stuff in favor of the "movie" stuff, but Hasbro's past behavior just doesn't match up with that fear. We still get Original trilogy Star Wars figures in the era of the Prequels and Clone Wars series. We still get Transformers Universe in the era of Transformers animated and the movie(s). We'll still get "Real American Hero" Joes in the era of "Movie" Joes too...we just need to be a little patient.

 

A "bomb" of a movie (and a "bomb" of a toy line) could very well send the Joe Brand into "hiatus" again. Then nobody's happy.

[boff123]

it might also be a good idea to keep in mind TF pushes more product and more lines at once while joe's movie line will be essentially taking over the spot it already has on the shelf.

 

 

Oh, Transformers is going to get a huge amount of shelf space, of that I have no doubt. After the near-disaster that the "shortage" of movie toys for the first film entailed, Hasbro and the retailers won't be taking any chances. It's a proven media tie-in property with a proven track record.

 

However, the Joe movie line will absolutely have to have more than the rather minimal shelf-space it has now, because the movie line is introducing several more product lines and pricepoints than currently exist. Plus, after the "Transformers shortage" the retailers are more heavily ordering and Hasbro is more heavily producing movie tie-in lines so they can avoid being caught with their proverbial pants down again. Nobody wants to be the retailer that doesn't have the "hot new movie" toys in stock, and no one knows just how well any of these films are going to perform. Yeah, Transformers is probably a pretty sure thing, but G.I. Joe could still be a huge hit, which could drive the toy sales through the roof (which is of course what Hasbro wants).

 

Which also sums up why I'm a firm supporter of the film thus far: A successful movie and a successful toy line would be the best possible thing for the Joe brand. I know some people have the fear that a successful movie line will somehow cause Hasbro to abandon the "classic" Joe stuff in favor of the "movie" stuff, but Hasbro's past behavior just doesn't match up with that fear. We still get Original trilogy Star Wars figures in the era of the Prequels and Clone Wars series. We still get Transformers Universe in the era of Transformers animated and the movie(s). We'll still get "Real American Hero" Joes in the era of "Movie" Joes too...we just need to be a little patient.

 

A "bomb" of a movie (and a "bomb" of a toy line) could very well send the Joe Brand into "hiatus" again. Then nobody's happy.

 

 

that all great & such but i don't want more movie junk with crappy colors or gigantic missile launchers. give me 25th stuff! i will pass on whatever has been shown so far. ugly baroness & breaker, black scrapiron w/ horrible ferret, stupid rockslide thing. give me more of the same hasbro. kids buy the 25th figures i have seen it with my own eyes, there is no need to kiddify it any more than it needs to be. its like 1994 all over again. battle corps spelled the end of gi joe.

[Jmacq1]

that all great & such but i don't want more movie junk with crappy colors or gigantic missile launchers. give me 25th stuff! i will pass on whatever has been shown so far. ugly baroness & breaker, black scrapiron w/ horrible ferret, stupid rockslide thing. give me more of the same hasbro. kids buy the 25th figures i have seen it with my own eyes, there is no need to kiddify it any more than it needs to be. its like 1994 all over again. battle corps spelled the end of gi joe.

 

You'll get more 25th stuff...after the movie stuff has come and gone. Kids don't buy very much of the 25th stuff, particularly compared to other toy lines, you having seen it seems to be the exception, not the rule, because around here I've never seen anyone under their mid-20's looking at the G.I. Joe stuff...but I see kids swarming around the Star Wars stuff. The problem is that if the movie line completely tanks, you'll likely see LESS 25th stuff, not more, because the Joe "brand" will be hurt in the minds of the retailers, and they'll still be too busy clearing out the lingering movie stuff to bother with buying newer non-movie stuff. Worse yet, we could end up with another 5-10 years of "Extremes" and "Sgt Savages" as Hasbro decides that RAH and RAH-based material just isn't successful enough (because it isn't really "growing" the brand). That's not to say that you personally should buy anything you don't like. But you should be hoping that the line really catches on with kids, because then it can become a gateway to "classic" Joe for kids that have never really been exposed much to it. It already seems that the movie toys are being designed to be completely compatible with the 25th style (since 25th figures seem to be getting included as vehicle drivers and such). Hasbro, and any collectors that really want the line to be successful in the long term, should be really hoping this film pulls in lots of new fans.

 

Seriously, there's one very easy way to gauge the overall success of a toy line, and it's not how hard it is to find: It's seeing how much shelf space is devoted to it compared to other toy lines from year-to-year. Transformers, Star Wars, and even Power Rangers tend to have lots of space devoted to them, because they're very healthy and popular, long-term brands. G.I. Joe generally gets about half as much space, if that, because it hasn't enjoyed any seriously mainstream success since the 80's. The reason some waves have been (relatively) hard to find isn't because they're selling so fantastically well: It's because there's less of the product out there compared to other lines (and even then the line still has semi-pegwarmers). Look at some of the things that have come out for Star Wars in the last year: The big AT-TE and Millennium Falcon. For all those "classic Joe" fans who want to even think of seeing a new Terror Drome or (god forbid) FLAGG again, you really should be rooting for this movie. Because that's the kind of success the Joe brand will have to have before Hasbro will devote that kind of money and effort to tooling things like that.

[SixDemonBag]

Hey everyone, I'm the writer of the article in question here and I wanted to respond directly to canprime's misguided critique of my piece.

 

First of all, some of your colleagues here in the forum got it right. They were intelligent enough to realize HUMOR and SARCASM when they saw it. Do you have any grasp of those concepts? Obviously not. This might be shocking to hear, but not every blog on the Internet takes itself as serious or even as sanctimonious as you seem to take yourself.

 

Next, in regards to your comment that I'm "representative of the stereotypical 'fan' who can't see past the one narrow niche of his hobby". Well, collecting G.I. Joe toys is not my hobby, and it never has been. I'm simply a movie fan, and fan of the property, a child of the 80's who loved reading about Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the Joes in the Marvel Comic series, as well as playing with the great Hasbro toys. There's nothing "supposed" about my love of G.I.Joe. I grew up the real American Heroes and I have a vested interest in seeing them portrayed in the best possible light.

 

Having said that, I have absolutely no problem with directors and other creative filmmakers making changes and/or updating properties to help translate them to the silver screen for a modern audience to enjoy. What I do have a huge problem with is clueless, money-hungry marketing analysts and other meddling studio "suits" who take it upon themselves to make the worst possible decisions when it comes to these properties. A prime example is Warner Brothers recent announcment that all of their future superhero films (regardless of the hero in question) will be "dark and gritty" because the Dark Knight was dark and gritty and made a bajillion dollars. A Superman or a Shazam film should never be dark or gritty, but that's what we are going to get thanks to the same backwards thinking that obviously went into the planning of this upcoming pile of rhino dung.

 

Now some counter-counter points:

 

10.) Your point is valid, but this is an example of that whole "humor" concept I talked about before. I was poking fun at the lazy-ass production team who couldn't be bothered to name the character properly.

 

9.) *sigh* Again...ummm...can you say SAR-CAS-M? Of course Destro walking around with the huge pimp medallion with an exposed collar would be outlandish and ludicrous, genius! But Destro's polished steel mask is an iconic image; it's the one thing that defines his character. Oh, and uhh, dude, the picture is a cheesey Marvel promo for an in-store appearance back in the 80's. I may be wrong, but I think with $180 million, the movie studio could come up with something that looked a little better. Just a hunch...

 

8.) "Ripcord really isn't big enough of a character to be noticed by the majority of movie-goers." EXACTLY. Then why the hell use him, why the hell make him black, and why the hell cast Marlon Wayans? Nothing about that decision made any sense, and his spot in the film deserves to go to a better-known member of the team whith an actor who can convincingly portray that character. Yes, Marlon was solid in REQUIEM, but that was the exception, not the rule.

 

7.) No braniac, I don't want a guy in a white leotard with crotch bulge. (Funny, I don't recall the character ever having a crotch bulge, but then again I wasn't ever really looking down there. Hmmm...but you seem to have been). What I want is a ninja outfit, which has been done to perfection in just about every movie ever that had ninjas in it. It's a pretty hard costume to screw up.

 

6.) Steven Sommers sucks. Next.

 

5.) Yeah, young guys in our military have command positions, yadda, yadda, yadda. But, this is an ELITE fighting force. Plus, a piece of toast has more acting ability and charisma than this dipsh**t.

 

4.) Yep, sucks.

 

3.) Origin-"I agree here, but what can you do?". Ummm...not make it an origin story? Treat the audience with respect? Take a chance and break away from "the norm"?

 

2.) Whole-heartedly disagree with you here. Stalker is the heart and soul of the G.I. Joe team. He's certainly more vital to the squad than Ripcord. Tell you what, let's pose a question to the forum: "Who would you rather have, Marlon Wayans as Ripcord or any other black actor on Planet Earth as Stalker?"

 

1.) Boy, are you sure you don't work for the movie studio? Because you certainly are willing to drink the Kool-Aid they're serving and accept anything they are throwing at you. Yes, black rubber suits worked for the X-Men, but this is not the X-Men, this is G.I. Joe, an American military group. They aren't superheroes, and yes, while some of them had pretty outlandish costumes, a good percentage of them were military-themed and could easily be toned down. Our military has been wearing camoflauge for 20+ years, and they'll probably be wearing it for at least 20 more, so why not incorporate some of those elements here? The bottom line is that there was a great opportunity in this adaptation for some unique (key word there) military-themed costumes that would give the characters individuial identities and help to set this movie apart from movies like X-Men and every other team-based action movie made in the past ten years. Instead, we got more bland, unimaginitive, boring, cliche, bullsh**t black rubber suits and it's absolutely unacceptable.

 

Well, that's about it, to all of you who actually enjoyed the artice and "got it" kudos and thanks to you. Yo Joe!

 

An interesting read. Although complete and utter crap. It is basically a fanboy, doing a fanwank to himself and his supposed love of GI JOE.

 

If his comments on Transformers are any indication, he is representative of the stereotypical "fan" who can't see past the one narrow niche of his hobby. I can guarantee you that if GI JOE is half as successful as Transformers in the theatres, Hasbro won't give a rats ass about his, or our opinions.

 

As for his points, I am going to offer counter points on some here:

 

Roadblock...This is one I actually agree with, but I doubt this is going to be a major factor in the movie "sucking."

 

Destro...The photo he has in this paragraph is all the evidence needed to argue against his point. The mask can be done, but shouldn't necessarily be done. As for a medallion? It would be beyond silly to have him wearing this giant medallion, especially on a bare chest.

 

Ripcord...Watch Marlon Wayan's performance in Requiem for a Dream and tell me he can't pull off a serious role. This is one of those arguments that presupposes the actor is a one trick pony. The evidence is there to prove otherwise. Granted, changing the race of a character can be a problem, but Ripcord really isn't big enough of a character to be noticed by the majority of movie-goers.

 

Storm Shadow...Really? He want's what? A guy in a white leotard with a crotch bulge? The costume choice may not be great, but I think it is one of the few inspired choices. As much as traditional ninja garb in white is ok, it really isn't the style this movie is going for (which is open to your opinion on being good or bad).

 

Stephen Sommers...I pretty much agree here. He is a competent director, but I also believe there were better choices out there for the producers to try and get.

 

Duke/CC...This is a tough call. Duke being young twenties is no problem. In the military there are officers leading groups in their early twenties. Hell, a lot of ground troops are late teens/early twenties. CC is a bit more problematic. I think a guy that young is a bit of a stretch for being this guy who organizes a large terrorist group.

 

Origin Story...I agree here, but what can you do? It has become the norm to give background to people on "franchise" movies. It is meant to catch up the average moviegoer, but as the poster writes, it treats them like morons.

 

Future...Again, I agree here. I know it gives them leeway to do some crazy things, but it wasn't necessary.

 

Stalker...While I see the reasoning behind having him as a connect to the ninjas. He isn't necessary, and quite frankly, isn't important to telling the story of SS and SE in this new canon.

 

Black rubber suits...I will wait and see. I can see both sides of this argument, but I think that the X-men movies did it right. And the Joes are similar to them with crazy outfits that not all of them would transfer over. Especially adding in that most are 20+ year old designs.

[ARROW]

1.) Boy, are you sure you don't work for the movie studio? Because you certainly are willing to drink the Kool-Aid they're serving and accept anything they are throwing at you. Yes, black rubber suits worked for the X-Men, but this is not the X-Men, this is G.I. Joe, an American military group. They aren't superheroes, and yes, while some of them had pretty outlandish costumes, a good percentage of them were military-themed and could easily be toned down. Our military has been wearing camoflauge for 20+ years, and they'll probably be wearing it for at least 20 more, so why not incorporate some of those elements here? The bottom line is that there was a great opportunity in this adaptation for some unique (key word there) military-themed costumes that would give the characters individuial identities and help to set this movie apart from movies like X-Men and every other team-based action movie made in the past ten years. Instead, we got more bland, unimaginitive, boring, cliche, bullsh**t black rubber suits and it's absolutely unacceptable.

 

But black is a standard operating colour/camouflage scheme for special forces that operate at night, so it might be bland, but its functional, bunky.

 

In other words, as Cyclops said in X-men: "What else would you prefer? Yellow Spandex??"

Unfortunately, on the score of the uniforms, its really a no-win kind of thing no matter what one does( and we do not know yet what the uniforms will be THROUGHOUT the movie).....and, IMO, not a deal breaker for the movie anyways.

[pesatyel]

Hey everyone, I'm the writer of the article in question here and I wanted to respond directly to canprime's misguided critique of my piece.

 

First of all, some of your colleagues here in the forum got it right. They were intelligent enough to realize HUMOR and SARCASM when they saw it. Do you have any grasp of those concepts? Obviously not. This might be shocking to hear, but not every blog on the Internet takes itself as serious or even as sanctimonious as you seem to take yourself.

 

You DO realize that sarcasm is NOT an easy concept to bring across in the written word, right?

 

Now some counter-counter points:

 

8.) "Ripcord really isn't big enough of a character to be noticed by the majority of movie-goers." EXACTLY. Then why the hell use him, why the hell make him black, and why the hell cast Marlon Wayans? Nothing about that decision made any sense, and his spot in the film deserves to go to a better-known member of the team whith an actor who can convincingly portray that character. Yes, Marlon was solid in REQUIEM, but that was the exception, not the rule.

 

Did you consider he was important to the plot? Black or white, the job of PARATROOPER is probably why he's in it, because the JOB is important. Point is, we don't know squat about the movie yet, so lets not jump to conclsions.

 

7.) No braniac, I don't want a guy in a white leotard with crotch bulge. (Funny, I don't recall the character ever having a crotch bulge, but then again I wasn't ever really looking down there. Hmmm...but you seem to have been). What I want is a ninja outfit, which has been done to perfection in just about every movie ever that had ninjas in it. It's a pretty hard costume to screw up.

 

1.) Boy, are you sure you don't work for the movie studio? Because you certainly are willing to drink the Kool-Aid they're serving and accept anything they are throwing at you. Yes, black rubber suits worked for the X-Men, but this is not the X-Men, this is G.I. Joe, an American military group. They aren't superheroes, and yes, while some of them had pretty outlandish costumes, a good percentage of them were military-themed and could easily be toned down. Our military has been wearing camoflauge for 20+ years, and they'll probably be wearing it for at least 20 more, so why not incorporate some of those elements here? The bottom line is that there was a great opportunity in this adaptation for some unique (key word there) military-themed costumes that would give the characters individuial identities and help to set this movie apart from movies like X-Men and every other team-based action movie made in the past ten years. Instead, we got more bland, unimaginitive, boring, cliche, bullsh**t black rubber suits and it's absolutely unacceptable.

 

Your basing your argument off of ONE picture? As above, we don't know squat about the picture. Maybe they wear their "classic" (or even normal military, or in Storm Shadow's case, normal ninja) outfits for most of the movie.

 

3.) Origin-"I agree here, but what can you do?". Ummm...not make it an origin story? Treat the audience with respect? Take a chance and break away from "the norm"?

 

The point of a movie like this is to introduce NEW fans to the story. This is NOT "your daddy's G.I. Joe". We won't be seeing Cobra created by a Cobra-La scientist. We won't be seeing Cobra created by a used car salesman with delusions of grandiuer. This will be a whole new itteration of G.I. Joe....which requires a origin of SOMEONE (Cobra and/or G.I. Joe). People are slow. And kids have a short attention spans. Starting in the middle of a story will just confuse people (and it also sets up the possiblity of a prequel which is always stupid). The only ones that would "get it" (if they started in the middle) are the old school fans that KNOW the story. And THOSE are in the minority, in the grand scheme of movie making. If they had started Transformers with Rise of the Fallen as the first movie....nobody would know what the hell was going on.

[Viper Hunter]

I've been a fan of G.I.Joe since the 60's when I was a kid and played with the original 12" versions, and later started re-living my childhood by collecting the 80's Joe's and have right up until today.

 

I've put an awful lot of time, imagination and investment into the whole thing, so maybe I'm now "tainted" from having an open-minded opinion on anything anymore (I'm too old and stubborn) but I'm not particularly impressed with anything I'm seeing out of this movie version of G.I.Joe. The actors they've got portraying Cobra Commander and Destro were enough to crap out the whole thing for me, and the others aren't exactly much better. My expectations are hard to satisfy I'll admit, and they're definitely very LOW on what I'll think of this movie......after I RENT it.

 

Do I need to be a movie producer or toy manufacturer to be able to have that opinion, or does my years of interest in G.I.Joe mandate I should be more positive about it, or I'm not a "real" fan?

 

It's just a movie.

 

I lOVE the subject matter..the MATERIAL that's being used, but by early images and editorial reviews I've seen and read so far, I'm thinking it's going to be a major disappointment.

[Jaxxon327]

Hey VIper Hunter! good to see ya. Where you been?

[Magic 8 Ball]

Seriously, there's one very easy way to gauge the overall success of a toy line, and it's not how hard it is to find: It's seeing how much shelf space is devoted to it compared to other toy lines from year-to-year. Transformers, Star Wars, and even Power Rangers tend to have lots of space devoted to them, because they're very healthy and popular, long-term brands. G.I. Joe generally gets about half as much space, if that, because it hasn't enjoyed any seriously mainstream success since the 80's. The reason some waves have been (relatively) hard to find isn't because they're selling so fantastically well: It's because there's less of the product out there compared to other lines (and even then the line still has semi-pegwarmers). Look at some of the things that have come out for Star Wars in the last year: The big AT-TE and Millennium Falcon. For all those "classic Joe" fans who want to even think of seeing a new Terror Drome or (god forbid) FLAGG again, you really should be rooting for this movie. Because that's the kind of success the Joe brand will have to have before Hasbro will devote that kind of money and effort to tooling things like that.

Yup... this is the sort of thing that I try to impress on people who want more pegs devoted to Joe at the local Wal-Mart. The current Joe line is not kid-friendly enough for that, and like it or not, kids determine what gets shelf space. The current line is more analogous to McFarlane; his lines are targeted at collectors so completely that he's lucky if he even gets three pegs at Wal-Mart.

 

The Joe line isn't quite at that level, of course, but my point is that it's closer. In order to get the big-ticket items and lots of shelf space, the line either needs to move in the direction of Transformers, Power Rangers, and Star Wars (all three, I will point out, are FILLED with the sound effect, light-up, missile launching features that some people here claim kids don't like), or go completely to the collector route, which would entail even less shelf space then it gets now, lots of stuff only being available through specialty retailers (often at huge markups), and pretty much guarantee never seeing big-ticket items again.

 

Experience says that Hasbro isn't very good at the latter. The movie line is more kid-friendly, which almost instantly promises more shelf space, and more product to fill it. As I said before, we don't have to like the kid-oriented stuff that comes out- but we do need to recognize that catering to the kids is likely to get us, the adult collectors, more of what we want.

[Jmacq1]

Yeah. Joe deserves some props for being able to survive and maintain some kind of presence in the toy aisles for as long as it has without a successful major media tie-in, but I have a strong feeling that's been more due to Hasbro's determination to keep the line alive than because it's terribly successful. Remember, aside from Transformers, G.I. Joe is the only major "boys toy" brand that Hasbro owns themselves, so it's in Hasbro's interest to keep the line alive in some form.

 

But the problem is that the Joe line hasn't really been growing. It hasn't roped in a ton of new fans despite several attempts. Now with the movie, they're trying something new. Maybe (hopefully) it'll work, maybe it won't, but just trying to let the line cruise without any attempt to "grow" it would rather quickly lead to it disappearing from toy aisles completely. Shelf space is a viciously competitive thing in the toy aisles, and if Wal-Mart thinks they'll pull in more profit by dumping the G.I. Joe line and filling that space with more Star Wars or Marvel or Power Rangers or whatever, they'll do it in a heartbeat.

[Glue]

Action movie plots tend to only come in so many flavors and variations. The images, costumes, and comments from the writers/producers on the demographic they're targeting for the movie behind the decisions made pretty much demonstrate both the strategy for the movie and the range that the plot will fall into. CC is Duke's childhood friend. And the Baroness has another emo tie to Duke. The whole "terrorism comes from emo" isn't a sign of a great military/terrorist storyline.

 

One initial criticism was that ARAH costumes were ridiculous-looking but the movie's costuming and overall look isn't going to appear realistic or plausible anyway.

 

So the movie isn't catering to the fans -- fine, it doesn't need to. But it's not attempting to be a realistic military movie either. The story doesn't seem particularly appealing from any perspective. The effects/costumes don't seem appealing by any measure either. At this rate, they might as well have had it done by Aaron Spelling.

 

The only way to vote on any movie is with your dollars, by going to see it or not. I'm not. I never saw Van Helsing. I only saw the Mummy when it was broadcast and I was bored. This is not a track record that would make me see the next movie in the pattern even if I weren't a Joe fan.

[Glue]

Yeah. Joe deserves some props for being able to survive and maintain some kind of presence in the toy aisles for as long as it has without a successful major media tie-in, but I have a strong feeling that's been more due to Hasbro's determination to keep the line alive than because it's terribly successful. Remember, aside from Transformers, G.I. Joe is the only major "boys toy" brand that Hasbro owns themselves, so it's in Hasbro's interest to keep the line alive in some form.

 

But the problem is that the Joe line hasn't really been growing. It hasn't roped in a ton of new fans despite several attempts. Now with the movie, they're trying something new. Maybe (hopefully) it'll work, maybe it won't, but just trying to let the line cruise without any attempt to "grow" it would rather quickly lead to it disappearing from toy aisles completely. Shelf space is a viciously competitive thing in the toy aisles, and if Wal-Mart thinks they'll pull in more profit by dumping the G.I. Joe line and filling that space with more Star Wars or Marvel or Power Rangers or whatever, they'll do it in a heartbeat.

I think the line has had plenty of opportunity for growth if they'd been willing and bold enough to try something along the direction of Resolute, starting from.. a long while back when the main Joe demographic was aging into their college years. Hasbro seems to have consistently gone with the "tobacco company approach" of trying to hook replacement markets while letting their older fans lapse (probably because that's what got them to prominence in the first place in the early '80s), but I think this strategy could have worked well too with younger kids who would like to see what "older kids" are into.