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code red shockwave

My first figure review

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Hey all,

I'm doing my first figure review here, which will go on a web site when I have the time to put it up. I hope you find my reviews interesting as well as informative, and in some cases, entertaining.

 

Now without further ado...here's my first review!

 

2004 Desert Patrol Dusty review by coderedshockwave

 

One of the worst sets to ever be released at Toys "R" Us would have to be the Desert Patrol Squad. Only half of the figures are somewhat redeemable and the other three are only good for custom or cannon fodder. Dusty, I feel, is the most useless out of all the six figures---and here's why.

 

Figure:

The figure uses the 1991 Low-Light mold, with the exception of the head, which is a strangely modified Sgt. Lifeline/Stretcher head. Why Hasbro decided to use this head after it wasn't too long ago it was used in the Anti-Venom set is beyond me. He wears chainmail body armor(is he trying to work for Medieval Times?), big boots(I didn't know boots could be that big), and a cap that you'd see a postman wear. He also has what looks like a neck brace(guess he got into too many car accidents) and a mic(to alert his boss if anything is suspicious). At least with Ambush, I could understand why they'd name him Aaron "Ambush" McMahon: because he looks like him. This figure, however, does not look anything like the character he's supposed to be---Dusty. I personally never really cared for Dusty, but to think of this guy as him is ridiculous. I'd probably name this figure Dustblower, Golddust, or Crop Duster, because unless you can come up with a creative purpose for this guy(which strangely I have, as cannon fodder), that's all he's good for---gathering dust.

 

Color scheme:

His shirt has a sea green color, while the lower half has a desert color, with "chocolate chip" camouflage. The lower half makes some sense, since it does have a desert paint scheme. The Desert Patrol badge is a nice touch, to discern between Desert Patrol members and other desert soldiers. What I don't get is why in the world does the upper half have to have sea green? If there's one thing I most of the time can't stand, is when the paint scheme of the lower half doesn't match the upper half's. Also, I feel that if because he has body armor, he would have been better off having an urban assault paint scheme(blue and black, or something with a Night Force feel to it). The colors, as is, ruin what could have been a cool figure.

 

Accessories:

He only comes with one lousy gun: the sniper rifle that came with many figures from the Spytroops era and after. First of all, GIJOE already has its fair share of snipers(Cross Hair, Barrel Roll, and Low-Light). Second, the guy looks like he's stoned. Do you think he can aim? Third, if he had at least two guns, it would have been just a little better. Since he has only one gun, I give him two thumbs down.

 

Conclusion:

This figure has five charges against him:

 

1. Ruining a decent mold with a lousy paint scheme.

2. He came with a gun that's been overused and it didn't even have the bi-pod.

3. Using the Sgt. Lifeline head again when it was already used less than a year ago, only to be modified with a neck brace.

4. Trying to pass himself off as Dusty when he doesn't even look like him.

5. Being included in the Desert Patrol in the first place when Switch Gears and/or Scarlett would have been slightly better choices.

 

The verdict is guilty! The sentence: constant death in my universe. Unless you're able to find the Desert Patrol set(or just this one figure) for a very cheap price, don't bother to get this guy in your collection. He's not worth your money.

 

YO JOE!

 

Rating(out of 10):

 

Character representation: 0/10

Mold: 6/10(the body is the only saving grace)

Paint apps: 4/10(the lower half is decent)

Value: 1/10

Overall score(not an average): 1

Edited by code red shockwave

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wow, Dusty as a character gets 0 out of 10. shouldn't the rating of the character be based on the character as a whole, not just this figure. or do you just not like the Dusty character?

 

or does the character rating mean how well the figure represents the character? if so, you should probably make two different categories, so when you finally review a figure of a new character you can rate how much you like the character as well as rate how well the figure represents the character, since those are two different things.

 

also, first you say the figure is a decent mold, and then give the mold only a rating of 1. I'd hardly call 1 a rating for a decent mold. bit of a contradiction. perhaps a new rating, for how well the frankensteining of the various molds works, which is what I assume you meant by the mold being a 1.

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What I don't get is why in the world does the upper half have to have sea green?

While I will agree that this figure sucks overall, I don't take issue with the green color. In certain times of year, the desert out here is awash in green and blue hues that would make that shirt very difficult to spot. So, while it may not suit someone crossing the Sahara, that color does blend into certain desert environments.

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why did you start with such a crummy fig........i really didn't need to be reminded of that waste of plastic i bought for the accs in the pack......he at least had strechers stuff

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