Need 64 Of The Baddest Joes And Cobras

[nevermore]

The Twins got robbed in the 1st round!

[T.A.P.]

This is how I imagine the Viper winning:

 

Cobra Commander: Ha! The Joes are fools if they think they can beat us. Its time to unveil our secret weapon. Unveil the Super Viper! MWA HA HA HA!

 

Cobra Officer: Um, sir? We don't have a Super Viper.

 

Cobra Commander: What do you mean we don't have a Super Viper!? What have those millions of dollars I've been sinking into the Super Viper project been going into?

 

Cobra Officer: Well, uh, sir, the ninjas went on strike again, so we had to settle that, and then the Terror Drome was bombed, so we had to rebuild that, and then the Coil Invaded, and you killed Serpentor, then GI Joe invaded, then Serpentor got cloned again and invaded, then Fred 29 tried to kill you and took over Cobra, then Serpentor was re-cloned and invaded again, then you came back and killed off all of your enemies by sticking them in a rocket that you launched into the sun. Oh, and Serpentor was cloned and killed a few more times.

 

Cobra Commander: So we don't have a Super Viper?

 

Cobra Officer: No sir. But, there was enough money left over to buy a Ping-Pong table for the rec room.

 

Cobra Commander: *Shoots the Officer* You! Over there! *Points at a random viper*

 

Viper: Huh? Me?

 

Cobra Commander: Yes! You! Get in the Arena of Sport and fight!

 

Viper: But... I was on break.

 

Cobra Commander: You had better get into the rebuilt Arena of Sport, or you'll be the next guy that I bury in a freighter or shoot into the sun, or have suffer some other goofy yet cruel demise! Understand?!

 

Viper: Yes sir!

 

Crimson Guard: Um, Commander?

 

Cobra Commander: What?! Can't you see I'm busy?

 

Crimson Guard: Yes, but Serpentor got re-cloned, and he's invading again.

 

Cobra Commander: That's just great! Why can't he do it when I'm not watching a fight to the death in the Arena of Sport? *Leaves*

 

Viper *to other Viper*: What am I gonna do? I don't stand a chance against a Joe! Look at me! I don't even have a name tag!

 

Other Viper: Hey man, don't worry about it. Just remember; No matter what... You still owe me twenty bucks! *Pushes Viper into the Arena*

 

Anouncer: Today's fight is between Stalker one of the original 13 Joes, and um, *aside to Viper* who are you?

 

Viper: Um, Carl.

 

Anouncer*aside to Viper*: Carl? Damn dude, you don't stand a chance. *To audience*Today's match is Stalker! *The Joes cheer* Versus... Carl. *cricket chirp*

 

Cobra Soldier in the stands: You suck!

 

Anouncer: Let the fight begin!

 

*Viper runs around the arena screaming and flailing his arms wildly. Stalker chases him, but eventually slips and hits his head, knocking himself out.*

 

Anouncer: The match is over! The Viper, suprisingly, is the winner!

 

Viper: I won?! I can't believe I won! I actually beat a GI Joe, and not just any joe, but a relatively popular one that probably won't be killed off in a Devil's Due comic! I won! *Starts laughing histarically with joy*

 

Anouncer: Next up, the Cobra Monster Truck Rally!!!

 

Viper: Huh? *Gets run over by a STUN* AHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Motor Viper: *Chuckling nervously* Oops! Sorry about that.

[Crimson Twins]

Cover Girl and Baroness! Cover Girl and Baroness! Or can I only do one of them?

 

If I can only do one, then I say Cover Girl. If I can do both, then I say Cover Girl and Baroness.

Only one per person. Which means, as much as I don't like it, Dusty beats Baroness. And with the same amount of dislike, Covergirl beats Tomax. I can't believe you took my twins out. @grumpy@ But hey, it's all in fun. We'll get even. You'll see.

[Crimson Twins]

This is how I imagine the Viper winning:

 

Cobra Commander: Ha! The Joes are fools if they think they can beat us. Its time to unveil our secret weapon. Unveil the Super Viper! MWA HA HA HA!

 

Cobra Officer: Um, sir? We don't have a Super Viper.

 

Cobra Commander: What do you mean we don't have a Super Viper!? What have those millions of dollars I've been sinking into the Super Viper project been going into?

 

Cobra Officer: Well, uh, sir, the ninjas went on strike again, so we had to settle that, and then the Terror Drome was bombed, so we had to rebuild that, and then the Coil Invaded, and you killed Serpentor, then GI Joe invaded, then Serpentor got cloned again and invaded, then Fred 29 tried to kill you and took over Cobra, then Serpentor was re-cloned and invaded again, then you came back and killed off all of your enemies by sticking them in a rocket that you launched into the sun. Oh, and Serpentor was cloned and killed a few more times.

 

Cobra Commander: So we don't have a Super Viper?

 

Cobra Officer: No sir. But, there was enough money left over to buy a Ping-Pong table for the rec room.

 

Cobra Commander: *Shoots the Officer* You! Over there! *Points at a random viper*

 

Viper: Huh? Me?

 

Cobra Commander: Yes! You! Get in the Arena of Sport and fight!

 

Viper: But... I was on break.

 

Cobra Commander: You had better get into the rebuilt Arena of Sport, or you'll be the next guy that I bury in a freighter or shoot into the sun, or have suffer some other goofy yet cruel demise! Understand?!

 

Viper: Yes sir!

 

Crimson Guard: Um, Commander?

 

Cobra Commander: What?! Can't you see I'm busy?

 

Crimson Guard: Yes, but Serpentor got re-cloned, and he's invading again.

 

Cobra Commander: That's just great! Why can't he do it when I'm not watching a fight to the death in the Arena of Sport? *Leaves*

 

Viper *to other Viper*: What am I gonna do? I don't stand a chance against a Joe! Look at me! I don't even have a name tag!

 

Other Viper: Hey man, don't worry about it. Just remember; No matter what... You still owe me twenty bucks! *Pushes Viper into the Arena*

 

Anouncer: Today's fight is between Stalker one of the original 13 Joes, and um, *aside to Viper* who are you?

 

Viper: Um, Carl.

 

Anouncer*aside to Viper*: Carl? Damn dude, you don't stand a chance. *To audience*Today's match is Stalker! *The Joes cheer* Versus... Carl. *cricket chirp*

 

Cobra Soldier in the stands: You suck!

 

Anouncer: Let the fight begin!

 

*Viper runs around the arena screaming and flailing his arms wildly. Stalker chases him, but eventually slips and hits his head, knocking himself out.*

 

Anouncer: The match is over! The Viper, suprisingly, is the winner!

 

Viper: I won?! I can't believe I won! I actually beat a GI Joe, and not just any joe, but a relatively popular one that probably won't be killed off in a Devil's Due comic! I won! *Starts laughing histarically with joy*

 

Anouncer: Next up, the Cobra Monster Truck Rally!!!

 

Viper: Huh? *Gets run over by a STUN* AHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Motor Viper: *Chuckling nervously* Oops! Sorry about that.

I like this idea mixed with the other one about the numerous Vipers pretending to be the same one. I think that'll explain how the Viper did so well against a guy like Stalker.

[Crimson Twins]

I'll go ahead with the Bracket #4

 

Salvo vs. Keel Haul

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron

 

Destro vs. Duke

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead

 

I really like this bracket. I know because of the time difference not many people will read this for several hours, so I might consider letting it ride past the 24 hour mark. We've been averaging 9 or so votes per bracket. So we'll see how it goes.

[nevermore]

Salvo

 

Roadblock

 

Kamkura

 

Road Pig

 

Nemesis Enforcer

 

Destro

 

Serpentor

 

Quick Kick

[Compact Attitude]

Salvo vs. Keel Haul = Salvo

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger = Roadblock

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie = kamkura

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper = Road Pig

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron = Nemesis Enforcer

 

Destro vs. Duke = Destro

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper = Super Trooper

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead = Beachhead

[Darque-Angel]

Salvo vs. Keel Haul--------------------->Keel Haul

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger------------------>Dodger (the ULTIMATE survivor)

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie------------->Kamakura

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper---------------->Road Pig (Tough one)

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron---->Scrap Iron (whips out a can of DDT)

 

Destro vs. Duke------------------------->Destro (Just one headbutt!)

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper----------->Super Trooper

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead-------------->Beach Head

[Crimson Twins]

Where are all the Serpentor fans that swear he should have won the DD comic pack poll? How can Serpy be down two to one against Super Trooper? Come on guys. Time to break out the rally monkey.

[JoeRhyno]

Salvo vs. Keel Haul:Salvo... I mean... just look at Keel Haul...lol

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger:RoadBlock He even had enough time to grill himself an after fight burger

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie:Kamakura Even though Toxo tried to cheat by throwing some...um... toxic stuff at Kama... Kamakura still came out on top in the end

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper:RoadPig There will be services for friends and family to remember the SAW Viper next thursday at ARBCO Funeral Home

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron:Nemesis Enforcer Sorry Scrappy... but dont worry... in a way, you're still in the game, you'll just be hangin limp from one of Nemmy's Elbo spikes

 

Destro vs. Duke:Destro... I'm sorry dukie... I really am. but... destro's my pick @grumpy@

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper:SerpentorAs much as I like Super Trooper and saving up for all those flag points...Sorry, but Serpy all the way!!!

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead:BeachHead I'm sorry, but he's not getting schooled by a stunt double or what ever QK is supposed to be...

[cobrasaboteur]

Keel Haul...lol what a match up

Dodger

Kamakura

Road Pig vs. SAW viper is hard, but the viper loses in the end

Enforcer devours scrappy

Destro butt plugs duke

SUPER TROOPER puts Serpentor back into his test tube

Beach Head

 

-saboteur

[flint069]

Keelhaul

 

Dodger

 

Toxo Zombie

 

Road Pig

 

Scrap Iron

 

Destro

 

Serpentor

 

. Beachhead

[revsears]

Keel Haul

"Sir i don't want to fight you, out rank me." -salvo

"Fine" Keel haul beats the crap out of Salvo.

 

Roadblock

"at least he didn't rhyme at me" -dodger

 

Kamkura

 

Road Pig

"HEY!" road pig screams. "Didn't i see you ehre already overkill?"

"sshhh!" he whispers as he recives a crashing blow to his skull

 

Nemesis Enforcer

 

Destro

 

 

Serpentor

 

Beachhead "why did the ref through a dead body at me?"

 

I didn't even know what this was! i looked right over it! i would have loved to see barrel roll in it, darn.

[Aku Inu]

Keel Haul

Roadblock

Kamkura

Road Pig

Nemesis Enforcer

Destro

Serpentor

Beachhead

[blazer8100]

Salvo vs. Keel Haul Salvo

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger Dodger

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie Kamakura

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper road pig

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron scrap iron

 

Destro vs. Duke destro

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper serpentor

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead beachhead

[PlayNiceOrDie]

Salvo

Dodger

Toxo Zombie

Road Pig

Nemesis Enforcer

Duke

Super Trooper

edit: forgot quickkick (how can you kill a guy who's already dead? lol)

[T.A.P.]

Salvo

Roadblock

Toxo Zombie

SAW Viper

Nemesis Enforcer

Duke

Super Trooper

Beachhead

[Big Ben]

I haven't really read through this so i don't know who to vote for so i won't. But i did want to show you guys something similar that we did at DD. This guy Took pms from people who wanted to play and what character they wanted to be. from there he pitted them together and through rounds people voted who would win. It's similar to what you guys are doing but a little more time consuming and its always fun to read over it again because the guy who did it would write a little story after the fight. Anyway i just thought some of you guys would like to read the stroy part.

http://devilsdue.net/forums/showthread.php?t=8518

[Crimson Twins]

That's where I got the inspiration to do this one. I just wanted it to be bigger and include both Joes and Cobras. I tried to give them credit for the idea, but I couldn't remember where it came from. Thanks for putting the link up. You can still vote for Bracket#4 if you want. The matches are all located on this page. Just tell me which eight you want to win for this bracket. Second round will be up sometime tomorrow.

[pesatyel]

Cover Girl and Baroness! Cover Girl and Baroness! Or can I only do one of them?

 

If I can only do one, then I say Cover Girl. If I can do both, then I say Cover Girl and Baroness.

Only one per person. Which means, as much as I don't like it, Dusty beats Baroness. And with the same amount of dislike, Covergirl beats Tomax. I can't believe you took my twins out. @grumpy@ But hey, it's all in fun. We'll get even. You'll see.

Heh, I know the feeling. My Frag-Viper lost out in sudden death.

[pesatyel]

Interesting bracket.

 

 

Salvo vs. Keel Haul: Salvo

 

Roadblock vs. Dodger: Dodger

 

Kamkura vs. Toxo Zombie: Toxo-Zombie

 

Road Pig vs. SAW Viper: Road Pig

 

Nemesis Enforcer vs. Scrap Iron: Scrap Iron

 

Destro vs. Duke: gotta think about it

 

Serpentor vs. Super Trooper: Serpentor

 

Quick Kick vs. Beachhead: gotta think about it

 

 

What happens if I miss voting the Destro/Duke and Quick Kick/Beachhead?

 

 

Decided to go with Destro and Quick Kick.

Edited December 30, 2004 by pesatyel

[Crimson Twins]

What happens if I miss voting the Destro/Duke and Quick Kick/Beachhead?

I will wait if the vote is close. I figured I would give a little extra time because I'm on the other side of the world, and the time difference screws people up. If it looks like a land slide either way, then I will have to go with the winners. Right now, Beachhead and Quick Kick is pretty close. Destro seems to have a good lead on Duke. We'll see if I get a chance to check the boards later. If not, then this bracket will get another day, just like Bracket #3.

[zweiman]

salvo

roadblock

kamakura

road pig

scrap iron

destro

serpentor

beachhead

[Crimson Twins]

That's it for the extended voting. Here's the tally.

 

Salvo wins 8-5

 

Roadblock wins 7-6 in the closest match up.

 

Kamakura wins 9-4 (can't beat a ninja these days)

 

Raod Pig wins 12-1 in most lopsided win

 

Nemesis Enforcer holds off Scrappy to win 8-5

 

Destro clobbered Duke 10-2

 

Serpentor rallied to beat Pooper Scooper 8-5

 

Beachhead sent Quick Kick back to the grave 10-2

 

That's it for round one. I'm finishing up the first part of the story to go along with this. I'll release the entire story at the end of the tourney. We'll be moving on to round two tomorrow. (My work load just shot through the roof) See you all then.

[Crimson Twins]

Now we're getting to the nitty gritty. Here comes round two. (my work slowed down a bit)

Since this is the second round, I will allow two days of voting for it. There are some great matches set up in this round, now that the rif raf have been discarded.

 

Bracket #1 Round 2

 

Big Boa vs. Firefly

 

Big Brawler vs. Gung Ho

 

Low Light vs. Mercer

 

Copperhead vs. Croc Master (in a Florida swamp death match)

 

There it is folks. The more votes the better. When Bracket #4 came out we had more votes than ever before. Let's keep it rolling. Get support from your friends. Make em vote. I'll try to stay up to date as much as possible, making routine checks on the boards. The tally will be in 48 hours (hopefully).